You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here

4 Oct

Dear Faithful Fans,

I’m moving to one central location and going forward my blog will be located on my coaching website:  http://www.girls2womencoaching.com/blog/

Business is booming and I’m enjoying motivating and inspiring women of all ages!

I’ve got plans, big plans…in fact, HUGE plans in the days to come based on something near and dear to my heart, “Authentic Living”.  What?  Who?  How is that possible you ask?

A workshop, book, companion journal, Women’s retreat, radio show, articles…you’ll just have to stay posted to watch the miracle appear.

Thanks for the support and all my best on your journey to live your one authentic life!

Warmly,

Beth Kloesener, MS, CMCC

Director of Authentic Living

P.S.  If you don’t like your job title, create your own!

Some of the best advice can be found in Fortune Cookies

28 Sep

Sometimes we just need to lighten up, stop searching, stop second guessing, stop writing lists upon lists and just be in the moment.  You know exactly what I’m talking about so give yourself permission to just STOP and take a deep breath.

This blog isn’t about hard work; it isn’t even about getting deep.  It’s quite the opposite.  I’m going to make a simple suggestion that doesn’t involve buying a self-help book, seeking counsel (although I am a fantastic coach), taking a class or traveling far away for a sabbatical aka.  Eat, Love, Pray.

Need a quick pick me up?  Searching for a “sign” or a bolt of infinite wisdom to help you make a decision?  Order Chinese.  I’m serious…

For less than $10 you can receive a Zone meal with a perfect balance of protein, carbs and fat (I’m currently following this, more later)…and a message from enlightened Buddhists monks who absolutely must KNOW what the universe has in store for you.

Below are some of my favorites and after reading them you’ll realize they are profound, deep and yet simple.  In fact, I think for some of them, entire books have been written on the very message.  Some would even make a great screenplay!  Read on, any resonate with you and what’s going on in your life today???  I bet so:

 10.  Your sense of humor will get you through difficult times

9.  Your power is in your ability to decide

8.  Look deeply within to root out negative attitudes

7.  Something wonderful is about to happen to you

6.  Don’t waste your time hesitating when opportunity presents itself, now is the time to move forward

5.  Doubt is at the beginning, not the end of wisdom

4.  Do or Do not, there is no try

3.  Over prepare and then go with the flow

2.   The love of your life will appear unexpectedly

  1.  YOU WILL BE HUNGRY AGAIN IN ONE HOUR

Again, sometimes it’s cool to not take ourselves so dang seriously and just enjoy life and its serendipity.

Take-out is a wonderful thing…A meal and a great pick-me-up…Order me up something extra spicy when you call in would ya?

P.S.  And if you have a favorite fortune folded and tucked away in your wallet, please share, I’d love to hear your wish for the future.

Take back your power from Dream Snatchers

30 Aug

There is only one difference between those that follow their dreams and those that don’t.  The people that make their dreams come true ignore Dream Snatchers.  Successful people I know don’t waste precious time listening to the doubting whispers of a Dream Snatcher.  Rather, they stop sharing their dreams with downers, boot them out of their lives and find positive, supportive people who are believers. 

Who are these dream snatchers anyways?  Why do we give so much power to them when our dreams are just that, OUR dreams and not theirs?  And how can we take back our power from Dream Snatchers and live the life we truly imagine for ourselves?

Dream snatchers can be found at work or lounging on the sofa in your own home.  They might be an authority figure like your parent, boss or even a trusted professor.  Even people who deeply care for you, such as a best girl friend, who is looking out for your best interest because she doesn’t want to see you hurt or worse, make her look lazy.  But the most difficult dream snatcher of all can be found in your head.  Yes, that would be you.

Negative self talk and self-doubt does not serve your dream.

Inserting your fears in your dreams will destroy the miracle waiting for you.  Face it, we can talk ourselves out of anything especially if we are continually thinking of “what if” horror scenarios.  Ever notice how we readily believe those voices that tell us we will fail; but the voices that tell us we are amazing we easily dismiss?  How about talking yourself into something for a change?   Change your mind set and start telling yourself what you can do, not what you can’t.  Enough already! 

Do you know the story of Fred Smith, the founder and CEO of Federal Express?  FedEx is the first overnight express delivery company in the world and the largest in the United States.  While attending Yale, Fred wrote a paper for an economics class outlining overnight delivery.  Legend has it that his paper failed because the professor told him in order for him to get a C the idea had to be feasible.  Overnight delivery would never work.  The paper became the idea for FedEx and for years the sample package displayed in the company’s print advertisements featured a return address at Yale.  The professor?  A classic Dream Snatcher.  Today FedEx just happens to be a multi-million dollar company but originally, it was just a dream of Fred Smith’s that he did not give up on no matter what anyone thought.

It’s time to fight fear with fire!  Here are some comebacks to the most common naysayer’s sound bites:

  1. You can follow your dreams someday – When is “someday”?  “Someday” is not a day at all.  Today is the only day guaranteed.  Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
  2. Don’t quit your day job – Safer doesn’t always mean better.  If that were the case you can be really safe living in a prison cell too.
  3. That’s Impossible – Anything is possible, you just have to be dedicated and want it bad enough.  Nothing is impossible, the word itself say’s “I’m possible”! – Audrey Hepburn.
  4. Sounds like a lot of work – Hard work isn’t hard when you are concentrating on your passions and dreams.
  5. You need money – You don’t need money, what you need is a plan.  Ask yourself what actions can I take right now with the money and resources I have that will bring me closer to my goal?

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.  Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.  Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice, heart and intuition.  They somehow already know what you truly want to become.  Everything else is secondary”. – Steve Jobs, founder of Apple.

Dust off your dream girlfriend and move forward full steam ahead!   Frankly, the only person’s opinion that truly matters is yours.  If you don’t believe in you, who will?

Live like you were dying

11 Aug

There’s something to be said for being born on a summer day.  I attribute my optimism, love of the sun, beach, and ocean to my August birthday. Summer is carefree, sleeping in, playing late, outdoor concerts, ice cream sandwiches, motorcycles, sun kissed faces, campfires, fireflies and dreaming while watching billowy clouds float by.  My name should have been “Summer”.  Summer Kloesener.  I digress…

So it’s only natural for me to celebrate my life with zest every single birthday.  Let’s be honest, unless it’s a significant year (turning 21, 30, 40, and so on…), most people just shrug their shoulders and say, “eh, it’s just another year” or “I didn’t do anything special”.  If this is you, you are doing yourself a huge disservice.  You are special, very special indeed and this is reason enough to celebrate your life.

Take a page from my book and give yourself the best present you could possibly get on YOUR day.   Revisit your bucket list. 

Bucket List:  A list of things to do before you die. Comes from the term “kicked the bucket”.

I say it’s “the best birthday present ever” because it has the potential to create some amazing experiences in your life:  fabulous trips and thrilling adventures filled with love, joy and breathtaking moments.  Are you mentally checking your list yet?  If you don’t have a BL, make this birthday the year that you create one.  A simple list scrawled out on a napkin will even work.  Just make sure you write it down so you can add and cross off things in the years to come.

Step 1:  Reflect on the past – What happened the past year that filled you with joy?  Maybe it was starting a business.  Getting your degree.  The birth of your first child.  Qualifying for the Boston.  Hawaii.  Check it off…if it wasn’t on the list but it’s certainly worthy, cheat.  Write it on the list and then cross it off (big grin).  Me?  I got published and started my career as a writer.  Yeah baby…

Step 2:  Reflect on the future – Think of the things you want to do over the rest of your life if money and time were no object.  Because face it, if we want something bad enough, the human spirit makes it happen.  Me?  Someday, I WILL spend copious time in Italy traveling the countryside, eating fabulous food, drinking amazing wine, and watching beautiful people.  If I find a chateau to buy and refurbish aka. “Under the Tuscan Sun”, (2003), pack my stuff and ship it to me.  “Chateau la Summer” will be etched on the entrance gate.

Step 3:  What’s in the now? – Pick something on the list and make a commitment to yourself and better yet, publically, about what you hope to experience this coming year.  Me? I’ve been training for the CRIM 10K race coming up on August 27th in my hometown of Flint, Michigan.  Afterwards I’ll be eating pizza at my most favorite pizza place in the (WWW) whole wide world, Luigi’s.  Yes, Flint, Michigan.  It’s not exotic nor does it have to be.

Step 4:  Repeat 1-3 every year on your birthday.

This is your life.  You get one.  I suggest you live like you were dying.  Tick, Tock…

What’s on your list? 

 

From “The Bucket List” a 2007 comedy-drama film directed by Rob Reiner, written by Justin Zackham, and starring Academy Award-winners Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman:

1.       Witness something truly majestic.

2.       Help a complete stranger for the good.

3.       Laugh until I cry.

4.       Drive a Shelby Mustang.

5.       Kiss the most beautiful girl in the world.

6.       Get a tattoo.

7.       Skydiving!

8.       Visit Stonehenge.

9.       Spend a week at the Louvre.

10.   See Rome!

11.   Dinner @ La Chevre d’Or.

12.   See the Pyramids.

13.   Masada.

14.   Taj Mahal.

15.   Hong Kong.

Keep Believing in Yourself

24 Jul

I’m a greeting card hoarder.  Some people hoard cats, junk, newspapers…well, I’m a card hoarder.  If there was a reality show for card hoarders, they would feature me in the season premiere.  If my house was on fire, I’d run in for two things.  My dog and my box of cards.  Feeling me?

My cards date back some 30 years and are filled with joy, love, celebration and inspiration.  What they have in common is they are signed “Love,”.   Love.  Love from people who are no longer in my life and some thankfully, still are.

This particular Sunday in search of encouragement I came across a card from 2005 given to me when someone was trying to make me feel “less than”.  Someday when I’m 120 yrs old, they’ll have to pry this card from my cold fingers…So for those of you that need a shot in your arm to not give up on yourself or your dreams..this card is for you:

There may be days when you get up in the morning

and things aren’t the way you had hoped they would be.

     that’s when you have to tell yourself that things will get better.

 There are times when people disappoint you and let you down,

but those are the times when you must remind yourself

to trust your own judgments and opinions,

To keep your life focused on believing in yourself

     and all that you are capable of.

 There will be challenges to face and changes to make in your life,

and it is up to you to accept them.

Constantly keep yourself headed in the right direction for you.

It may not be easy at times,

but in those times of struggle you will find a stronger sense

     of who YOU are,

 And you will also see yourself developing into the person you

have always wanted to be.

 Life is a journey through time, filled many choices, each of us

will experience life in our own special way.

So when the days come that are filled with frustration and unexpected responsibilities,

     remember to believe in yourself and all you want your life to be,

Because the challenges and changes will only help you to find the dreams that you know are meant to come true for you.

 ~ Deanna Beisser (BlueMountainArts)

Got Oxygen?

7 Jul

Rather than inhaling leftovers at my desk for lunch today, I actually snuck out of the office to have a delightful salad with an even more delightful girlfriend.  Lunch becomes the Beth & Kat Show followed by loud boisterous laughing (me), quite giggling (her) and snickers (both of us) that leave the other patrons wondering what the heck we are having for lunch!

 In actuality, we are simply celebrating and supporting whatever the other is going through in our lives and inevitably talk about how we can make a difference for others.  This particular afternoon we reminded ourselves of “The Oxygen Mask Theory’. 

The premise of the Oxygen Mask Theory goes something like this:  If we took better care of ourselves first, we are then able and willing to do so for others.  I say “if”, but what I really mean to say is we “must”.

Lately, what I’ve been hearing from women is they would LOVE, LOVE to pursue their dream job, start that business or make a big change (improvement) in their life, but they are way too busy to even contemplate it.  How sad is that?  Very.

As women, we have these patterns engrained in our brains regarding priorities; kids, partner, parents, job, community.  Self? Hello…self?  Followed by our brain telling our self to shut up and be selfless.   Sad indeed.

Where is it written that we must constantly do 24/7? Run here, run there, help them, volunteer ourselves for the tasks that no one else wants to do, and on and on (insert picture of treadmill here).

I’m telling you this as a friend, as someone who cares about you…you will never accomplish your dreams or truly live YOUR life, until you decide to make time for YOU.  Make time for the things that are truly important to you.  Take inventory and then take them out to trash.  Establish boundaries, learn to say no.  Stop feeling guilty.

Ever stop to think that the world…the universe, is actually waiting on your bigger purpose?  Here you are dilly dallying around with some menial project or task that isn’t worthy of your time.  Knock it off and get on with your true purpose.  Live YOUR life!

And Kathleen if you are reading this…I sure love you Girlfriend!  When’s our next lunch?

Be Like Water

15 Jun

World renowned martial artist Bruce Lee once said, “Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless – like water.  Now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup, you put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, you put it in a teapot, and it becomes the teapot.  Now water can flow or it can crash.  Be water, my friend.”

This philosophy, to “be like water”, is wise advice to guide your career or live your life by for that matter.  Watch how water travels over rocks in a stream.  Notice how it easily navigates around the rocks blocking the flow.  Effortlessly, water divides to go around the rocks and meets on the other side to continue its journey.  It pools and subsides; it rushes and trickles, but it never tries to stop the natural flow.  Water’s strength is in its flexibility.  It doesn’t rush when it should be trickling.  It flows, twists and turns and always arrives at its final destination in due time.

Now think of that thing, your nemesis, of which you have been struggling with making no headway.  Relax and ease up on yourself.  Repeat these powerful words, “be like water”.  Be like water tells you to stop beating your head against the wall and go with the flow.  You will achieve your goal when you are ready and more importantly, when the universe is ready for you. 

Ever notice when you are on the right path the universe seems to respond accordingly?   New opportunities knock at your door or you meet the right person at the right time or somehow the money you need for school suddenly appears?  Prosperity literally rains down on you when you aren’t watching!  That is, “be like water”.

Several years ago I found myself, like many people, in the position of being downsized.  I could have easily panicked to the point of being paralyzed but something inside me knew this downsizing had the potential to be the best thing that ever happened to me.  I believed deep in my heart that a better future was waiting for me.  Despite a poor job market, miraculously within days I was looking at two different lucrative job offers. 

One offer was a position twelve miles from my home and the other was 1,200 miles away in Colorado with a huge relocation bonus and an opportunity to start a new life.  After much deliberation with time ticking away like sand in an hourglass, I held my breath, took a big leap and chose the more difficult path, Denver. 

I packed up most of my favorite belongings and drove across country in my bright orange Honda Element to my temporary living space and welcomed the new landscape of Denver.  Fast forward six weeks, something just didn’t feel right and the job was disappointing to say the least.    I could have commiserated but I trusted the flow of the universe.  I called up the first offer and asked if the position was still available.  Low and behold it was mine if I still wanted it!  I returned my relocation check, packed up my favorite belongings, yet again, and arrived back home just in time to enroll in my next college class, ironically, “Strategic Planning”.

Sometimes we think we are on the right path but things unexpectedly change.  You must have the courage to travel along the twists and bends in the road.  You must be open to receive the opportunities being presented to you.  Simply put, you must have patience and a lot of faith. 

So until your moment is right, keep believing, keep hoping and keep dreaming.  Keep working toward the change, the relationship or the job you want.  You will eventually arrive at your destination.  The ability to just let go and flow with the current of life is your greatest strength.  The greatest wisdom comes from knowing you will eventually get to where you need to go.  Your choice is whether you do it smoothly or strain against the current.

Take a life lesson from Bruce Lee and be water, my friend.

Summer Sabbatical Anyone?

31 May

 Summer is quickly approaching.  Vacations are being planned, BBQ grills cleaned, patio furniture pulled out and winter clothes put away.  Instead of jamming pack the next 90 days with road trips, sunscreen and festivals, I’m planning down time.  In fact, sabbatical time.

Sabbatical – noun.  Any extended period of leave from one’s customary work, especially for rest, to acquire new skills or training, etc.

This is going to be new for me.  Slowing down that is.  I don’t sit still well. Outside of the normal 8-5 work day, there is always a business meeting, a fundraiser; a 5K, a community event calling my name.  House hold chores to do that only can be done during the “warm” season, garage sales, and reunions…enough already.  Whatever happened to just sitting on a porch with a tall glass of lemonade sans iPhone?

This Summer I’m doing me. More importantly, I’m checking out to plan for the future me.

  • Lazy summer days by the pool teaching my puppy to swim and dive for balls.
  • Enjoying coffee at the bistro table on my sun porch.
  • Early morning walks with the sunrise and birds chirping.
  • Meandering through a local art fair or listening to live music.
  • Start writing that book I’ve been dreaming about.

So I ask you…

Can you say “no” to things you really don’t want to attend but feel obligated to do so?  How are you at sitting in silence?  I encourage you to drop out…Now relax ~ not altogether, but just a little bit.  Say no to simply carve out more time for your personal quests.  And if you sit still long enough, you just may be inspired to flesh out your next big goal, start a business plan or …yes, even write that book.

This summer has the potential to be the first summer you’ve lived in the moment since grade school.  Remember those days?  Absolutely Agenda Free.  Filled with playing kickball, catching fireflies, water balloon fights, hopscotch?  Anyone?

If you are looking for me, I’ll be in the backyard writing, with a tall glass of lemonade.

 

 

 

 

Dear Oprah, thanks for “The Journey”

17 May

 Dear Oprah,

Thanks for mentoring me the past 25 years.  But it wasn’t just me, although many times I felt like you were speaking just to me, it was millions of people regardless of age, gender, race, religion, background, education.  My world, the World is a better place because of you.

I could never possibly thank you for all the inspiration, hope, new ideas and sense of empowerment that you have given me but I can be a mentor to many women, of all ages…with the hope of giving back everything you have given me.

You pushed me to start my coaching business. I bet you didn’t know that.  Yep, you ran a business contest in your magazine a few years ago searching for the best ideas.  The winner would get a trip to NYC for a business development weekend with you and many other experts all geared to help me start a business. 

I put together my application with passion and tears.  I knew I was going.  I marked my calendar, planned my vacation time!  While I was shocked that I didn’t win a spot (grin), it didn’t stop me.  It only made me more passionate.  I learned any dream worth pursuing is a dream worth pursuing yourself. That’s one of the many lessons I learned from you.

But the biggest impact you had on me was ten years ago when you shared a favorite poem, The Journey by Mary Oliver.  I was in the middle of making a huge decision and this poem spoke to me and gave me the courage to make the leap I needed to make.  I actually made copies of it and passed it out to everyone on the last day of my two week job notice!

This poem popped up in a recent issue of your magazine this year and it was as if I had bumped into an old friend.  Funny, I am once again in the process of considering huge changes and it’s reminding me to believe in myself and leap with courage. 

Thanks for the inspiration Oprah.  Best of luck to you on your journey.

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice —
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
“Mend my life!”
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do —
determined to save
the only life you could save.

 

~ Mary Oliver ~

 

 

Detox: Has zero to do with food

15 May

I know what you are thinking when you hear the word “Detox”.  No food, no drink, no sweets, no fun.  That’s what I thought anyway, but after completing a two week detox* the biggest surprise to me wasn’t about food or the 11 lbs. I lost at all.

Detoxing is more about what you feed your Mind and Spirit rather than your Body.  Overcoming your food addiction truly is the heart of the matter.  If you aren’t ready to battle with your mind, you will not succeed.  I’m just sayin’. 

This detox included other things like mediation, deep breathing and journaling.  Also for an entire week you are asked to reflect and write on deep soulful questions  probing past loves and hurts to lay ground work for a new life, a new you.  A lighter you.  Not just in weight, but in spirit.  Since 80% of our past pains are stored as toxins in our fat cells (so doctors believe), these past pains need to be released to stop eating emotionally.

Like any good battle, you simply need to prepare yourself mentally.  For those of you that have been contemplating doing a detox, it’s time to eliminate “I should” from your vocabulary and replace that with “I must”.  Here’s the best roadmap I can give you:

Preparation – Prepare for battle

Own up.  Whatever plan you embark on, don’t kid yourself.  It’s not easy.  In fact, it’s hard. But really, is anything that’s worth something ever really easy in life? 

Tell people.  Now you’ve made a commitment out loud. Certain friends & family won’t understand and will think you are weird but all you need is one supporter.  My dog didn’t mind, in fact he ate salad, carrots and veggies with me and he was happy with that.

Talk someone into doing this thing with you.  You can hate on the program together at least for the first few days.  It’s great to have someone to talk over frustrations and discoveries…and celebrate completing.  My mom came along with me, I manage to talk her into almost anything (skydiving, marathons, cross country drives, now detoxing).  She’s always my first phone call & rarely backs down from my antics. 

Journal your adventure.  Whatever the emotion is, write about it, feel it, deal with it, rather than eat it.  Write down your goals.  Understand your “why”.  Why are you doing this?  For me I just wanted to get to a point of seeing food for what it is, something to sustain rather than filling the empty and painful places.

 Rewards – What I discovered about myself after day 14

Never slept better, like seven hours soundly straight thru the night.  Haven’t done that since I was like 14.

My skin is brighter.  “Water”, the elixir of life.  Drinking ½ your body weight in ounces flushes, hydrates, revives and energizes.  Not to mention my headaches were eliminated after day 5.  Coming from me, a primary stockholder in Advil, this is huge.

I CAN do three meals without snacks.  The secret is, don’t skip a meal and make it healthy and robust.

I CAN live without coffee.  If I want a cup I’ll have it, if not I won’t.  The point is, I don’t HAVE to have it in the morning for fear I’ll bite someone’s head off.

There is no greater high than living openly and honestly with joy and love.  Might I add, bravely? 

Forgive everyone for everything.  I feel much lighter, more positive and just plain…happy.

Experiencing evenings of no sound is a beautiful thing in bite size pieces.  I CAN do no TV, phone, music or talking.  It’s very clarifying and calming to hear your soul speak rather than listen to external things drone on.

 Face your demons; put a Detox on your bucket list.  Skydiving or visiting Paris can wait.  It has the potential to be a life altering experience in your own home.

 P.S.  Brutal honesty right?  One thing that I am totally clear on ~ I will never give up pizza.  EVER. 

*Details on the “Colorado Cleanse” Detox can be found at  www.lifespa.com.